Had I paid more attention when I walked into this new barber shop across the street, I would've noticed a few imperative details. For one, it was a Saturday morning, and the barbershop was barren. Number two, the man who cut my hair looked like a hobo who loitered around the area and happened to find refuge this morning in the barbershop. Had I looked at him more closely, I would have noticed he had a glass eye and a severe slouch to his right. Not that I have anything against people with glass eyes, or that may or may not slouch to one side or the other, but take my word for it, the combination dramatically effects the outcome of a haircut! It wasn't until I was in front of my bathroom mirror back at my place that I noticed the ghastly wonder he did on my once beautiful head of hair. Now you are probably asking yourself why I choose to sit down on that black barber stool amidst all of these obvious red flags. To my regret, I cannot answer that question. I was not high on drugs; I was not tipsy off of alcohol. And unlike my Palestinian friend, I cannot use the "poor vision" copout. I have 20-30 vision.
I stood in front of my mirror for several minutes debating my next move. There were holes all over my head. My neckline was severely slanted to one side, and for some reason he gave me an interesting new style of bull-cut, but just on the back of my head. So I busted out my clippers and tried to fix the 16 dollar haircut with my attachments. The damage was beyond repair. The next move was simple. I knew what I had to do. With unwilling hands, I put a 1/8" blade on the machine and put it to my head. In three months time my hair will be back to normal. Fortunately, I've got a good hat collection that will be to good use during these hard times...
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